


Those Weird Akira-Feelings

by Brekah



Category: Persona 5
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:00:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23574265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brekah/pseuds/Brekah
Summary: Ryuji heard Akira laugh again. He looked up; Akechi had his back to them, head tilted, shoulders jostling up and down with laughter. Akira patted Akechi on the shoulder; this made Akechi laugh more. Something in Ryuji pulled; he felt all tangled up, kinda like he wanted to cry and hit something at the same time.
Relationships: Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji
Comments: 4
Kudos: 137





	Those Weird Akira-Feelings

“All right!” Ryuji ran over to the available dart board. “Ann, over here!”

“Yes!” Ann shouldered him triumphantly, holding a hand out for her darts. “This is going to be easy.”

“501?”

Ann’s confident smile faltered. “Uhhh…maybe 301 to start.”

Ryuji shrugged and entered the game into the board. “Watch the best at work!” The “best” managed a bullseye (ALL RIGHT!!), an eighteen (hah, not bad), and a five (er, we, uh, need the odd numbers).

“Jeeze, now you made it all hard to math out.” Ann squinted at the board and then shrugged, proceeding to land three perfect bullseyes.

“FOR REAL?!” Ryuji stared at the board, then at Ann, who seemed just as surprised as he did.

“W-whoa!”

“Dude!”

“Right?!”

They shared an epic high five. Ryuji grinned; he’d been bummed when Akira had turned down hanging out, but things were starting to look up.

Ryuji hit another bullseye on his first go, followed by a twenty. He could hear Ann cheering him on—singing, “don’t mess this up!” in a barely encouraging way—and shook his head to center himself. He focused until the eight was the only thing he could see, took a deep breath, and aimed his throw.

Akira laughed somewhere behind him and the dart flew wide, thunking into the 11.

“Aww, Ryuji you made us lose!”

Ryuji spun around and scanned the game room. Maybe he was going crazy—yeah, that could be it. Akira was busy. Ryuji just missed the guy, was all—not that he _missed_ him missed him, just in the normal way—and why was he even thinking—

“Ryuji!”

“Shut up!” Ryuji took the resulting punch on the arm, rubbing the spot while finishing his scan of the room. He could have sworn he heard the laugh again, the one he only ever heard when he and Akira were hanging out. Maybe he just—

There. Ryuji’s breath caught. There was Akira alright, at the back of the pool table, holding a pool stick with one hand and wiping under his glasses with his other as he laughed. Ryuji felt his mouth tug into a smile. That guy looked seriously cool, even while laughing like that, like he was some sort of pool shark. And with him—

Ryuji’s smile dropped. “What the hell?”

Ann gave him another punch. “Why are you ignoring me? What is wrong with—” She followed Ryuji’s gaze, her eyes going wide at the sight of Akira and Akechi playing pool. “Oh…I didn’t know they were friends. Did you?”

Ryuji’s mouth felt dry. He pulled out his phone and checked his chat with Akira.

**Yo, video games today?**

**_Sorry, I’ve got plans._ **

**Lame!**

Nothing since. He heard Akira laugh again. He looked up; Akechi had his back to them, head tilted, shoulders jostling up and down with laughter. Akira finished wiping his eyes and patted Akechi on the shoulder; this made Akechi laugh more. Something in Ryuji pulled; he felt all tangled up, kinda like he wanted to cry and hit something at the same time.

“Hey, you okay?” Ann was next to him, bumping her shoulder into his. “Want to go somewhere else?”

“We still have time on the board,” Ryuji muttered.

“I’m kind of thirsty though. Want to go to the café that’s nearby?”

Akechi shook his head and leaned over to take a shot; the crack of the connection rang through the hall—of course it did, the show off. Akira considered the table, moving to a good spot. When the shot didn’t work out he drooped a bit. Akechi moved next to him, clearly making up some shit or using big stupid words—probably both. Akira seemed to cheer up the more Akechi talked to him. Ryuji jammed his phone and hands into his pockets.

“Yeah, whatever. Let’s go get something.”

It was really hot out, even though school wasn’t even on break yet. Ann found a table at the nearby café, leaving him there while she ran in for drinks. Ryuji sat in a way that let him see the Penguin Sniper—it wasn’t spying, after all. He was just…making sure their leader didn’t need any back up.

He replayed the scene in his head. There was no need to feel…sad-angry, or whatever it was. Just two dudes playing pool, no biggie. Just two…friends—and when the hell did they become friends anyway? Why hadn’t Akira said anything about it before? Ryuji pulled out his phone again and opened his chat window. Then closed it. Then opened it again—

And jumped when Ann clacked their drinks onto the table. “You could have at least helped with the door.”

“Sorry.” Ryuji shoved his phone back into his pocket.

“Ugh, it’s fine.” She sipped at her drink, some iced thing with lots of fruit in it. It actually looked really good. “You okay?”

Ryuji shrugged, guzzled half of his soda, and burped. Ann kicked him under the table.

“Come on! You’re clearly upset—stop acting like a jerk and talk to me about it!”

“Ow! Easy on the legs, alright?” Ryuji leaned over to rub his shin, resting his head on the table. “I just really hate that guy, is all.”

“Mmm.” Ann sipped her drink again. “Did you know they were friends? They seem like they…I don’t know, they seem like they’ve hung out before.”

“Yeah, whatever.” He stopped rubbing his leg but kept his face on the table. “I dunno, okay? I just really hate that guy.”

“Yeah, you said that.”

“He just—he just pisses me off! He thinks he knows everything about the Phantom Thieves. And he thinks he’s better than us! Just because he’s famous and some people think he’s smart or whatever.” He sat up and grabbed his soda. “And what does he think hanging out with Akira will get him? What’s his angle?”

Ann ran her finger around the rim of her glass. “Maybe they’re just friends? Though…yeah. It does seem like Akechi usually has a reason for doing things.”

“Exactly!” Ryuji pointed at Penguin Sniper. “He’s probably thinking, ‘oooh I’m going to make friends with this convict guy and throw him under a bus or something for my career how clever for me~~~’” He smiled and gulped his soda while Ann laughed. “Oh shit, what do I owe you?”

Ann waved her hand. “You paid for the darts. Even if you ruined my perfect game.”

“It wasn’t my fault!”

Ann’s face got serious. “Hey, Ryuji…you got like, really upset. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Something tugged in Ryuji’s chest, that weird sad-angry feeling again. Ryuji shoved it down where he shoved all those weird Akira-feelings. “Yep, I just really—”

“—hate that guy.” Ann sighed.

“Yeah.”

That serious look still didn’t go away. “Can I ask you something?”

Ryuji finished off his soda. “Mmm, like what?”

“You’re like…” Ann scrunched her face prettily—well, everything she did was pretty, which they could never live down—and seemed to be thinking about what to say. “You’re like…really close with Akira, yeah?”

Ryuji shrugged. “I guess, sure.”

“Like, _really_ close.”

Ryuji frowned at her and leaned back in his chair. “Why you gotta make it sound so weird?”

“It’s not weird! I just mean—”

“Whoa, shut up.”

“Don’t tell me—”

“Just shut up!” Ryuji leaned to get a better view of Penguin Sniper. Akira and Akechi were coming out of the doorway; then they stood and chatted in front of it. Akechi gestured towards the café. “Shit.” The two started over. “Shit!” Akechi pointed at them again—this time directly—and suddenly Ryuji’s eyes locked with Akira’s. Ryuji couldn’t read his expression quite yet, but could see the shock in the way the guy stopped for a second. “Aw, shit-shit-shit.”

Ann turned around. “What—oh, um—”

“Ann. Ann. Ann—”

“What?!”

Ryuji wracked his brain. Akira was walking right towards them, Akechi at his side. “Stop freaking out, Ann!”

“You’re telling me??”

Akechi reached them first. “Hello, everyone! Nice day to be at a café, isn’t it?”

Ryuji’s eyes snapped up to Akechi. He was wearing that stupid fake smile, trying to convince everyone he was their friend. Ryuji turned his attention to Akira; the guy had a confused look on his face. Akira offered a tentative smile, the “hey, Ryuji, we good?” smile. Anger bubbled up inside of Ryuji, and although it made no sense, he decided to roll with it. He didn’t smile back, instead cutting his eyes away from Akira to look back to Ann.

She fumbled. “Oh, uh, hi Akechi-kun! Yeah! It’s a bit hot, but that’s okay! Yep!”

Wow she was terrible at recoveries. Ryuji almost looked to Akira for some commiseration before remembering that he was angry. Instead he looked at his empty soda.

Akechi pulled off another TV smile. “It is quite hot out today. I wish I had dressed for it better! A cool drink will be welcome—do you mind if we join you?”

Ann glanced between Akechi and Ryuji. “Ummm…”

Akechi caught the motion and paled. “Oh no…I think I just realized—are you two on a date?”

Ann and Ryuji froze, eyes snapping up to each other. Akechi turned bright red. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize!”

Akira shook his head. “These two aren’t dating.”

“Maybe we are!” The words were out of Ryuji before he could stop them; they made him feel weirdly powerful and a little triumphant. Ann’s eyes went as wide as Akira’s. Ryuji cleared his throat. “Uh, I mean, she said she’d date me if I helped her out at the gym, so.” He gestured around them, flailing a bit. “So here we are. I mean, it’s not that surprising, right? We’ve known each other forever.” He locked eyes with Ann, pouring all the bandwidth he could into it. _Please, Ann, just roll with it…just roll with it…PLEASE Ann…_

She blinked. “Haha…uh…sure. Weirder things…could…happen?”

Good enough. Ryuji leaned back in his chair, balancing it on the back legs. “So yep, there you go.”

“Oh.” Ryuji vaguely recognized the look that flashed across Akira’s face, though he couldn’t quite read it; he could only catch it for the moment before Akira turned his head to the side. “Sorry. You hadn’t told me.”

“Yeah well, I don’t tell you everything I’m up to.” Ryuji felt terrible as soon as he said it. He leaned his chair forward and took a breath to apologize, but Akira gave him a nod, the one he usually gave to people who said shitty things to him. The anger fled Ryuji, just leaving the weird sad feeling.

Worse, Akechi was looking at Akira, face furrowed with worry. “I fear I’ve made things awkward. Akira, shall we go somewhere else? It seems we should stick to our original plan of finding a private spot.”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

“Great.” Akechi turned back to them, looking bashful. “Sorry again for my lack of awareness. Apparently I need to improve upon my detective skills! Enjoy your date!”

Ryuji stared at Akira while Ann returned the goodbye, but his friend didn’t look at him. A vague panic lit inside of him—why were they looking for a private spot?—and he stood up. “Uh, hey, Akira, I’ll call you later? We can grab dinner or something?”

Akira’s glasses flashed as he pushed them up his nose. “Sojiro needs me to help out tonight.”

“Oh. Well, uh, see you at school tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

Ryuji stood there, watching them walk off and turn a corner. He clenched his fists when Akechi reached up and patted Akira on the back. “Friend stealing son of a—OW!”

Ryuji sprawled on the ground, with several passerby staring at him. Ann appeared over him. “What the HELL was that?! All of that just to make Akechi feel embarrassed?”

Ryuji groaned and curled into a ball. “I panicked.”

“Ugh, get up!”

Ryuji stood up, only for Ann to hit him again. “OW! Stop hitting me!”

“You deserve it! Akira was so confused. I think we actually hurt his feelings—and now I have to call him and tell him it was just a stupid joke. You’re such a moron.”

Ryuji rubbed his arm and started walking towards the train stop. “Yeah well, you went along with it.”

“Only because—okay, fine, it _was_ kind of nice to see Akechi embarrassed. I just wish Akira hadn’t been so confused. Did you have to be so mean?”

Ryuji winced. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Wait…wait you weren’t…” Ann stopped as her hand flew to her necklace, her eyes going perfectly round. “Were you trying to make Akira _jealous?”_

Ryuji stopped with her, scrubbing his hand through his hair. “Did you just literally ‘clutch your pearls?’”

She moved to hit him again, but he jumped back with a yelp. “SAKAMOTO RYUJI. Were you being mean to Akira on _purpose_ to make him _jealous_?!”

“Jeeze, not so loud!”

“I’m not joking!” Ryuji’s heart sank; Ann actually seemed pretty upset, like she was going to cry. “Just because you’re confused doesn’t mean you can hurt people!”

Ryuji pressed his palms into his eyes before drawing them back over his hair. “I just…fine, maybe a little? I don’t know—I know he like, likes you or whatever, so maybe some part of me wanted to make him jealous, I guess, ‘cuz he ditched me for Akechi. I didn’t think about it like that, but maybe? I don’t know—I know it was shitty, okay? I already feel bad! I’m sorry, just please don’t cry.”

She _was_ crying a little—oh jeeze, great—but she was also looking at him like he was crazy. “You think Akira likes _me_?”

Ryuji returned her look. “Um, yes? I mean there’s this,” he gestured at all of her, “and also the fact that you two hang out like, all the time. You’re probably the next closest person—” Ryuji shook his head. “I mean it’s just obvious.”

Ann wiped her eyes. “Ryuji, you are the stupidest person I know.”

“How are you going to lecture me all about not being a dick and then say something like that?”

“You just are.”

They stood there for a moment before Ann pulled out her phone. She shook her head. “I’m going to go home. You should really go think about…” She slipped her phone away. “Why don’t you go think about your friendship with Akira? Like, _really_ think about it.”

Ryuji rolled his eyes. “I know, I _know_ , I’ll apologize.”

She shook her head again. “Seriously, you’re clueless. See you at school tomorrow.”

Ryuji watched her walk off—seriously, did she just ditch him?—before wandering around Kichijoji. He pulled out his phone and opened his chat window with Akira.

**Hey.**

**So uh…**

**Sorry about earlier. I just, panicked with that Akechi guy.**

**Oh, and Ann and I aren’t dating obviously.**

**Like she would be so lucky, haha!**

**So, uh yeah, sorry again if it was weird.**

Ryuji stared at his phone, willing the three dots into existence. When they didn’t appear, he grunted and shoved the phone back into his pocket. They had to still be in Kichijoji, right? Why did they need a “private spot” anyways? And who talked like that? Private spot…like they were dating or something, or like one of them was going to make a love confession.

“Haha, yeah right.” Ryuji felt vaguely dizzy at the prospect, but it was completely stupid. Akira clearly had a thing for Ann, and girls in general. They talked about girls _all the time._ Sure, it wasn’t like Akira ever brought up girls on his own, but still. He’d definitely been caught looking at Ann before, right?

Ryuji peered into every shop he could, looking for “private spots.” He nearly jumped out of his skin when his phone dinged, then nearly dropped it opening the app. He groaned when it was just a message from his mom, wondering when he would be home. Then Akira’s icon popped up, and Ryuji clicked it.

**_It’s fine._ **

Ryuji stared at the words, waiting to see whether there would be more. There weren’t. “Aw man…” He shot a message back to his mom and headed for the train.

After his last transfer he snagged a seat and thought about what Ann said. _Really_ think about his friendship with Akira? He closed his eyes…and snapped them back open again. He didn’t want to go there. If he did everything would have to change, even if just inside. Instead he closed his eyes again and made himself think about that model, what was her name? Mika.

He looked at his phone again in front of his apartment complex. **_It’s fine._ **stared back at him. Normally Akira sent him random messages throughout the evening, memes and screenshots and things. The silence was…well, it made Ryuji feel like a shitty friend. He took a deep breath and called the guy.

Akira picked up after a few rings. “Hey.”

“Oh—hey dude! Um, I just still feel weird about earlier so I wanted to call you. Is that okay? I mean, do you have time to talk?”

There was a long pause on the other end. “I have a few minutes.”

“Cool!” Ryuji began walking in a tight circle. “Um so, yeah, I like. I feel super shitty about being weird earlier. I guess I got kind of freaked out seeing you with Akechi. It’s not an excuse or anything, just, yeah. It’s why I was weird. I feel really bad though—you mean a lot to me man, and, I don’t know. I don’t want to just be some asshole that makes you feel bad just because I’m in a shitty mood. I’m really sorry.”

The pause on the other end was maddening. Ryuji stopped circling and began tapping his foot.

Akira cleared his throat. “I’m sorry too…I wanted to tell you I was friends with Akechi but was worried you’d freak out.”

“Well, you weren’t wrong!” Akira laughed, and Ryuji felt as though warm water was running down his shoulders. He could feel himself grinning like an idiot and didn’t care. “So, are we cool?”

“Yeah, we’re cool. Meet you on the way to school?”

“You know it!”

The grin wouldn’t leave Ryuji’s face, even after hanging up. He opened the complex door and held it for an old woman making her way out to the street.

“Thank you dear! Look at you, smiling like that. Are you thinking about a girl you like?”

His hand nearly slipped from the door. “Huh?! No!” He could feel his face turning red which, of course, only made it turn redder.

She chuckled and shook her head. “Young love is so sweet. Enjoy it, dear.”

“Uh, be safe granny.” He fled to his apartment, once again forcing himself to think about Mika. Stupid Ann. He was never going to listen to her advice again.

**Author's Note:**

> Even though I've played all of Persona 5 I'm only about half way through Royal. I'm loving the new content and places. Even in the old game I always wondered how much Ryuji would lose his chill when finding out that Akechi and Joker were friends, so I decided to have some fun with it.


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